Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Kevin Rey Trivia Game

My good friend, Kevin, is getting married next week and his bachelor party is tonight. I thought it would be nice to make a trivia game about all the embarrassing things he's done in his life. A lot of these are inside jokes, but I'm sure you can all find something to appreciate. 

1. What is Kevin’s middle name? Martin

2. What is the 5th letter of the alphabet? F

3. When did Kevin start dating Sandy? Grade 9

4. What ethnicity do we say Kevin is? Mexican

5. What ethnicity is he actually? Peruvian

6. What did Kevin’s dad say when questioned on whether they were Mexican or Peruvian? “Same difference.”

7. True of false: Kevin is the Nazgul? True

8. What is Kevin allergic too? Peanuts

9. Peanut oil is a common ingredient in cuisine from what Southeast Asian country formerly known as Siam?      Thailand

10. Who carried Kevin all the way back to the hotel in San Francisco when he ate Thai food? Justin Casol

11. Which of the following excuses has NOT been used by Kevin to bail on his friends: A. Saxophone shopping, B. Regatta, C. Dinner with parents, D. Too busy doing the Mexican Hat Dance?  D

12. Again, which of the following excuses has NOT been used by Kevin to bail on his friends: A. Bible camp, B. He actually hates us, C. He was sleepy, D. Had to go let Mike in to his apartment?  B

13. Name any two of the women Kevin has been accused of having a secret affair with. Marissa, Veronica, Joyce

14. What did the ring Kevin wore on shoe symbolize? Abstinence

15. What is Kevin studying at SFU? Molecular Biology

16. Kevin held what position in the SFU BGC until it became apparent he was awful at it? Vice President

17. What martial art is Kevin currently interested in? Kendo

18. What is the name of Kevin’s mom? Mrs. Rey

19. What board game is Kevin the worst at?  Settlers of Catan

20. What board game is Kevin the best at?  Puerto Rico

21. What is Kevin’s favorite brand of chips?  Doritos

22. Name three of the four languages Kevin speaks.    English, French, Spanish, Japanese

23. Who was Kevin’s favorite Chem 12 teacher?  Mr. Wade

24. Has Kevin ever knocked over or broken something in your house?  Probably

25. What denomination of Christianity is Kevin?   Baptist I think

26. What was the name of the movie Kevin tried to make in high school?  Elder Dragons

27. What is Kevin’s favorite outdoor activity?  Canoeing/Kayaking

28. What was the purpose to the speech Kevin gave at the hotel last PAX?  None

29. Why were people mad at Kevin last PAX?  Hotel problems

30. What did Mike say that made Kevin fall over laughing when we played Settlers of Catan at his house?         I love sixes because first I get wood, and then I have an oregasm!

31. What did Kevin do in the middle of a French presentation for no reason? Dance

32. Who is Kevin’s only high school friend he has never been mad at? Taylor

33. What movie do Tristan and Kevin often argue about?   Transformers

34. What word does Mannu frequently use to describe Kevin?  Smug

35. When did Damian and Kevin meet? Grade 1

36. True or false: Zach thought Kevin was really cool in Grade 8 Gym class? False

37. How many times have we been to Kevin’s house?  Maybe 5

38. Has anyone here ever seen Kevin kiss Sandy?   Probably not

39. What is Kevin’s preferred race in Warhammer?   Lizardmen

40. What table-top RPG did Kevin sometimes moderate?  Call of Cthulu

41. What was the name of Kevin’s main in World of Warcraft?  Inca

42. Why did Kevin lose interest in Game of Thrones?    Ned died

43. What major plot point did Kevin not realize when first reading Watchmen?  The Comedian is Laurie’s father

44. Where are Kevin and Sandy going for their honeymoon?  Mexico

45. In how many different places has Kevin lived since high school?   Three

46. What is Kevin’s favorite thing in the whole wide world?  Explosions

47. Why did Kevin originally not want to play paintball?  Fear of projectiles

48. What is the capital of Peru? Lima

49. Is Kevin gonna get smashed tonight? Yes

50. Will we ever see Kevin again after the wedding?  No

Sunday, June 3, 2012

True Romance Review

Since it seems as though the movie review podcast thing my friends and I were supposed to make every month will never happen again, I figured I’d just post my own thoughts on the movies we watch, kind of like what this blog was originally intended for. This month we watched True Romance starring Patricia Arquette and Christian Slater, directed by Tony Scott, and written by Quentin Tarantino.

The basic plot of the movie is a guy who works at comic book shop and is super into kung-fu movies (probably the closest Tarantino has come to writing a character based on himself) meets up with a manic pixie dreamgirl prostitute. Naturally, they immediately fall in love and get married the next day. Our hero is then convinced by his alter-ego, Elvis Presley, to go kill his new wife’s pimp played by Gary Oldman. In the process he steals a suitcase full of cocaine thinking it contains his wife’s belongings. I’m still not certain how makes the connection between “random suitcase” and “my wife’s stuff”, but whatever. When he gets home he tells his wife what he did, and because she’s a manic pixie dreamgirl she thinks it’s the most romantic thing ever. At this point two things became apparent: Firstly, like most Tarantino scripts, the plot and characters aren’t all that important compared to dialogue and copious amounts of blood (it has been said that the shallowness of Tarantino’s characters is profound). Secondly, that the reactions of one of my friends to the film will be just as entertaining as the movie itself. Even though I’m fairly certain this scene, and indeed much of the film, is meant to be ridiculous and played for laughs, she just couldn’t get over the absurdity and pretty much lost her shit. The movie doesn’t get much saner from there as the newlyweds flee from the mob to Los Angeles, so we shared many more laughs as her expense. And in case you wanted to know, her one word review for the film is "ridiculous".

As I said earlier, the plot and characters don’t really matter in the end, and it doesn’t take much to figure out the lovers will live happily ever after. I guess I don’t have too much of a problem with that since I have come to expect it from Tarantino, but that being said I found the ending to be a bit too sappy and silly for my tastes. Where the movie really shines is in the dialogue which should also come as no surprise. There are plenty of fun and hilarious conversations throughout the movie on various subjects ranging from Sonny Chiba to oral sex. My favorites tended to involve Elliot (Bronson Pinchot), a cowardly lickspittle who works for a major Hollywood producer. Brad Pitt also makes a memorable appearance as the perpetually stoned roommate of Christian Slater’s friend. The second aspect common to all of Tarantino’s work is the exaggerated violence, and True Romance certainly delivers in that regard. From Samuel L. Jackson’s cameo short-lived cameo appearance to the final showdown there is more than enough blood to satisfy all of your sadistic needs. Perhaps the most memorable of these scenes has a young James Gandolfini (you may know him as Tony Soprano) slowly and gleefully beating/torturing manic pixie dreamgirl. This scene probably packs the most raw emotional punch out of any in the movie. It is also worth noting two strange scenes where that aren’t particularly bloody, but still contain violent tensions. The first involves a mob boss played by Christopher Walken interrogating the protagonists’ dad played by Dennis Hopper. When you get these two guys in a room you know its going to be good, but the whole story of Sicilian genetics that dominates the conversation… was a tad bizarre, but was there because Tarantino, that’s why. The second is even stranger and takes place in an elevator as Christian Slater goes apeshit for no sane reason (there is an insane reason I suppose). I don’t really have much commentary on this scene, but I have noticed a trend in movies where when you get one or more characters in an elevator, then some weird shit is about to go down.

In conclusion this movie was pretty over-the-top, but still quite enjoyable. I don’t think it’s one of Tarantino’s best, but if you’re a fan then this is definitely a must-see. If you’re looking for something deeper and more meaningful then I’d go for Inglorious Basterds. Also, for best results watch with a friend who has lived a sheltered life.

Bonus points to whoever posts a one word review to this film.